Fearless
by DreadPirateRai
Summary: The grey wardens are supposed to be fearless, but in the end there only human.


The vast halls of Orzimmar were perhaps the greatest wonder of the age, vast caverns filled with hundreds of dwarves and buildings enough to house them all and even vaster caverns hiding all manner of dangerous creatures. But the beauty of the halls was tarnished by the vicious civil war between the two dwarven successors. A civil war which against his better judgement he found he had to get entangled in. It had been a difficult decision, made through endless queries and more than one sleepless night spent with one or more of his companions, each of whom had very unique opinions on the matter. Surprisingly it had been Morrigan who had influenced his final decision, the illegal mage whose opinions were less than fair and whose remarks were always decidedly unhelpful. It all came down to one thing, hunting down a paragon in the fabled deep roads where wardens went to die.

The first part of the journey went by without problem, and the only resistance were the standard groups of darkspawn and the occasional ogre all of which were despatched without concern, the addition of Oghren helping greatly. Oghren himself was absolutely an acquired taste, spending all downtime drinking, and he wondered with fascinated curiosity as the dwarf fought enthusiastically despite the fact that it was strongly suspected he was intoxicated. In fact the whole journey went without a hitch, until they drew deeper into the grey roads and darkspawn thinned out and deep crawlers began to take over. The crawlers were even easier to dispatch than the darkspawn, being relatively small and absolutely stupid. Their presence was nothing more than an annoyance and as their presence grew constant the grey warden found himself rather bored, something that not even the occasional looting and addition of one very sexy piece of armour could dissolve.

The last group of deep crawlers held a hidden surprise for the team because as the last one fell it found itself replaced by a spider so big the warden could only stand stiff and stare a look of terror on his face. A casual spell from Morrigan finished the spider off, causing it to curl itself into a tight ball, but still the warden did not move, his eyes trained on the corpse and his heart beating so rapidly he was sure his companions could hear it. Morrigan beat the others to it, letting out a genuine laugh before wrapping an arm around the warden's shoulders. "Come now my love, tis only a little spider no more dangerous than a single Hurlock."

The warden had no comeback, for the team had most defiantly now seen his curiously out of character behaviour and he could not have them thinking it was because he was scared of a single little spider. Shivering he closed his eyes for a moment before spinning to face the team, his face once again that of a warden. Confidant and composed. "Let's move out" he spoke in a measured voice, refusing to give way to the turmoil he was facing. Never before had he wanted to give up and turn back, but right now he considered that as his only option. Which is why he kept them moving forward.

The next encounter was not just one spider but a team of around five he thought. Truthfully he had never gotten around to counting them because as before he froze, unable to move or shout or do anything, until one approached. Then he let out a whimper and a quiet scream before propelling himself back to hide behind the mages. When the fight was over and they came to check on the warden they found him curled against a wall crying uncontrollably. When the warden showed no signs of recovery Alistair took charge, demanding that camp be set for the night and that Wynne and Morrigan have a close look at the warden to see if his outburst was the result of a poison of some kind. To everybody's dismay he came up clean.

He only moved again in the dead of night when he was sure all of his companions were fast asleep. He left his tent and moved out into the vast caverns, his eyes searching for anymore of the dreaded creatures. Still there was no movement save for the steady breathing of Wynn, who was barely visible in the fire light. Taking a breath he moved towards her, firmly of the opinion that it would be much easier to explain himself to each one individually and even better when they could hardly see each other.

Wynn greeted him with a warm smile, and an air that spoke to him to confide in her. "Come sit, warden. We have much to discuss I suspect." He let out a low chuckle and settled himself next to her. Morrigan would perhaps not be best pleased with his decision to confide in the circle mage but it did not mean he trusted Morrigan any less, just that Wynne was in the right place at the right time and he just hoped Morrigan could see that. "I'm sorry Wynne, I let everybody down today. It's just. I mean. Honestly." He let out a sigh and shook his head, how could he admit to somebody sworn to follow him that he had a major weakness. She must have sense his hesitation because her voice cut through the night first, "Your scared of spider's I take it." A bitter laugh escaped his throat as he regarded Wynn with a smile. "I'm not scared of dying Wynn. I can jump into a group of a thousand darkspawn and not feel anything, but this, this scares me more than anything." He didn't let Wynn say anything more, he was a Grey Warden and Grey Wardens knew no fear. So why did he feel so scared. Removing himself from the mage he headed back to the solitude of his tent before a passage leading deeper through the roads could barely be made out. There and then his plan was formed.

The moment he was sure Wynne had returned to her tent he strapped his armour on and retrieved his weapon. Slipping outside his tent he ventured down the passageway. In his current state he was a liability to the team, a grey warden scared of something so insignificant, a grey warden reduced to nothing in the presence of one. If he didn't overcome his fear then he could get them killed, and that was something he didn't want to happen. So he planned to go through the passage until he found himself face to face with one of the spiders, then he would slay it and overcome his fear, thereby come morning he would be a worthy leader.

There was one fatal flaw in his plan, he had no backup and despite his belief that near death would compel him to do something he did nothing. The spider had knocked him down easily enough and now its fangs lowered agonisingly slow over its prey, the grey warden who could not even manage to raise his sword arm and score at least one hit. He knew then that he had failed them in an even more spectacular way than before. In trying to overcome his fear he had effectively removed one grey warden from the equation and left Alistair in charge of overseeing the effort to save Ferelden.

Then the air grew cold, and a swarm of insects surrounded the warden and the cavern, insects which had no place in the deep roads. They did not touch the warden, instead aiming straight for the spider which they managed to kill in just a few seconds. The warden had thought he was dreaming until the insects began to form a shape and a very worried Morrigan began to emerge. Her hands wrapped around the wardens face as she talked to him, soothed him and generally told him how stupid and unworthy of the title warden. It's when she said that Alistair would have been the better leader that it really began to hurt, and when he began to come back to reality.

He spent the rest of the night talking to Morrigan who had more than a few choice words on the matter, including but absolutely not limited to how completely stupid and counterproductive his actions were. Strangely despite her cruel words and mocking sentiments the warden felt so much better in himself. So much so that when morning came and he gathered everybody not a word was said about yesterday and his near death madness was known only to him and her, there secret and it would remain so. When their camp was attacked by spiders as they packed nobody realised that the warden still could not move, nor did they notice that most of the creatures were killed by Morrigan before they could get near the warden, and for that he was thankful.


End file.
